


Stranger Like Me

by SinScrivener



Category: Outlast (Video Games)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 16:58:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20585909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinScrivener/pseuds/SinScrivener
Summary: Slightly based on Messinwithgluskin's portrayal of Trager and mine (we both feel his parent sucks all the ass)Roman is the Pyromaniac Variant and given backstory by me, Trager is in past what I saw him as before the Murkoff Account was a thing so he works as a 'Doctor' Pyro being his first 'patient'.





	Stranger Like Me

Finally! It's been a month now since I joined the damn Hospital that I'm FINALLY getting a patient! Jesus Jer!

I tie my long silver gray peppered hair into a ponytail, fix my glasses smartly and nod, checking my suit before heading to work at Mount Massive Asylum.

The drive is nice, mountain air filling my lungs, the drive home at night, ten times better ~ It almost makes up for the sudden shift from enjoyment to hell as I swipe my card into the reader, wave to the guard and pull up to the daunting black shadow that was the Hospital.

I only knew the guys name, Roman Pyre, Jeremy said it was a surprise and how it was a fresh body to test run through to see how it went.

I did NOT expect a child of barely thirteen to be standing there at the doors as a fancy ass car began pulling off, the child bawling, screaming, reaching for the retreating car, "MOM, DAD? PLEASE.. COOOME BACK!!"

My mind's eye flashes to a memory I've thus pushed into hiding, watching play by play, me as the kid, calling to MY parents as they dumped MY ASS at boarding school and just drove off.

Like the kid here...It seems they hadn't even bothered to say goodbye or even bothered to get OUT!

Mine went halfway to the schools doors before ditching me. Guess I was lucky there?!

How did I know THIS was Roman? A tag around his wrist read, Pyre, Roman, 1992 07, 15, DTS.

In smaller letters I knew the letters written in bold ment 'Danger To Self or DTS' and frowned, seeing what could either be cigarette burns on his neck, or lighter flicks. Those weren't freckles…

I cough lightly to grab both Romans attention and Jeremy's and say as both look my way, as friendly as I could, the screams by me and Roman for our parents a haunting playback now in my ears, "Hey there!"

"Hey'a, Rick, how's it going? Sorry you had to see that, your early." Jeremy says as Roman returns to watching the retreating car with his life pulling out of the gates and gone forever, or so it felt.

I watched mine too as Roman did… It was wet and cold and I held my bags alone before a strange new place….

A place… I look up at the school/Asylum, I didn't sign up for.

"Hey, Mr. Pyre, this here," Jeremy says upbeat and kindly, a facade as he moves the teary faced boy my way, "Is Dr. Trager! An amazing man, does wonders-"

Those eyes…. Those burning dim amber eyes look up to me with silent understanding of what had been done.

I stare up at my Dean.. Knowing my parents weren't coming back anytime soon.. I'd been abandoned, trusted to this place..

I come back again as Roman remains silent and so, I break the ice with a smile, "How's about we go inside, hu, Buddy? See where you'll be staying, things you'll get ta do?"

I didn't get such a welcome...Maybe I could make a small difference?

Roman doesn't speak but follows with his dying spirit after me, Jeremy behind us, closing the big wooden doors behind us, signaling his freedom and life was now gone forever.

Unlike mine, as one day, I walked free of those doors, not to my parents open arms, but to my parents nevertheless!

Roman… I look ahead, frowning, would not be so lucky..

\---

Around we went, Jeremy following like a shadow, a ghost, watching both me and Roman, wondering it seemed, when I'd strike.

I wouldn't...Would I?

"This will be your room, I didn't really know…" I cough and stare at Jeremy, "That kids were..welcomed to Mount Massive.." The room was more so set up for an adult. No color to the room, a plain desk, chair, bed, bars on the window…

I open my dorm room door and see a student already inside, my roommate. He looked bothered that I'd shown up and grabs his bag off my bed and goes back to putting his things away.

Our room was mute blue, we had curtains, two desks, two beds, carpet, a bathroom to share.

Roman walks into his dull hospital room and looks around but sees nothing. His amber eyes hollow and cold, dead.

"I'll be just outside this door, I need a word with Mr. Blaire here, okay, Buddy? Then maybe we can grab you something to eat?" And knowing I'd get no answer, I gently closed the door behind me and snap at Jeremy as soon as the soft 'click' told me the boy couldn't escape, "What the FUCK is THIS, Jeremy?"

"Whaaat, he's already pretty much gone already!" I push him to the wall and snarl into his face, "You asshole, he's a CHILD!"

"A mentally disturbed child, Rick, here," He pulls out Roman's files finally for me and I snatch them and skim quickly.

Name: Pyre Roman  
Age: 13  
Birthday: July 15th, 1992  
Synopsis: Troubled youth, breaks things to get attention, self harms to get attention, has begun to burn things to get attention.  
Treatment: -

I look up to Jeremy and he beams, "Your call how we care for him, DOCTOR, nice ring hu? Big Doc on campus now~" He slaps my shoulder and holds out his hand, gripping me close now, "Selling the Dream, Rick! Selling the dream~"

We stop and smell, looking from us both to behind us and panic, I myself reaching for the door handle, Jeremy rushing to grab water or...something.

I pull the door open and find Roman sitting on the bed calmly, blank eyed, staring as his bag gently flickers with fire.

I stomp on it like a mad horse with a snake then whisk the kid out of there, a wash of water smashes us both in the face as Jeremy calls, "FIRE!"

I spit, holding Roman, half his body dragging and stare at Jeremy who blinks, looks, sees the fires been dealt with and smirks stupidly, moving aside as I drag Roman out of his smoky room.

"How the fuck did he even start that?" I hear Jeremy ask as I sit Roman down away from his room, patients and staff peeking around to see what's happened.

I hear Jeremy ruffle through Roman's burnt bag then smell it as he dumps it by me stating, "Fucker had a match or two, look!"

Indeed, he did-Hidden in a toothbrush holder, something staff wouldn't care to check, no idea on what a CHILD could possibly do!

I lightly rifle through it myself and stop as a torn picture grazes my cloudy gray eyes.

Partly burnt now, was a picture of Roman and his parents. Blood dry and streaked eating the Polaroid film this picture was made from.

I flip it over and quickly turn it back around.

I opened my own bag and pulled out my own family picture, no one, much like Roman's was smiling. However...Mine was still fully intact, no running film debris, no blood, no message on the back written in bloody what appeared to be pencil writing-

'I love you, I love you, I love you!'

I look back up towards Roman and see at a glance, where his 'ink' had come from to mark this picture. His wrists littered with little white scars.

"Holy shit kid," Jeremy speaks, taking the picture from my hand and flipping it around and around.

"Jeremy!" I snap lightly and he shrugs, places it back into the burnt bag and says, walking off with both hands behind his back, "I'll leave you with your patient then, Doctor Trager! Call if you need anything!"

I lower my head slowly then back up and speak lightly, the kids eyes gone from life itself, my own cloudy grays look for any sign of life within his amber eyes but seeing nothing, no hope, no dreams, just...parts of a child's body, "You...okay?"

His mouth opens but nothing comes out and knowing this, he just closes it and frowns and looks away.

I frown but get up and say, trying to get back to myself, for this kid anyway, "Let's go outside hu? See the...fountain…"

Nothing in this hospital was kid friendly, no one was younger than twenty! We had Vocational but that was old fashion sewing and woodcraft…

Roman should still be able to play outside, get his yayas out, laugh, be a fucking kid-

Being loud and being a kid wasn't allowed in the school either! No fun, just manors and learning!

I feel something within my hand and look, startled, Roman's small hand within my thin bigger one and watch as he just walks, face looking ahead, either knowing what he's done or just doing a kid action when one was scared and needed a security base.

I tried ONCE trying to hold a teacher's hand, Trager being my last name, I was last in line when moving out to places. A loud..something I can't remember now, happened and I jumped, looked towards my teacher and grabbed for their hand.

The smack to my cheek told me QUICKLY never EVER try that again, EVER!

Just like holding my Mother's hand, she'd slip it out of my grip and walked further ahead of me, myself left holding my our little hands.

I remember Roman's hand in mine and stop as we've reached the doors to the fountains outside in the central courtyard.

"Sorry.." Came the softest, saddest voice I ever heard and feel his little hand pulling from mine.

I act quickly, not making my past history's mistakes and assure with a smile his way, "If you feel better holding my hand, it's fine by me, Little Buddy~"

For a SECOND, his eyes came to life, a SECOND! They died quickly as Jeremy came back around, voice loud and 'happy'.

"Heeey, got someone to clean up his room, got some clean sheets and whatnots, a little more welcoming!" And for Jeremy to say THAT-

"Thanks, Buddy… I was just taken him outside to get some air-"

"Isn't he too old to hold a hand?" Jeremy asks out front and Roman goes frozen and lifeless again.

I stare at Jeremy darkly and spit through my teeth, "Fuck. Off!" And lead Roman along, leaving the asshole behind me.

I had a plushie at my school, a doggy plushie-I called it Buddy Jr. After Buddy my dachshund back home… I was at that age when kids kept those toys hidden-

I thought it was so when I returned to my room after a hellish day of class a year into my being there, Buddy Jr. Wasn't where he'd been hidden!

I panicked and looked everywhere and just as I went to leave my room to check around outside (maaaybe it would be out there) I found him...what was...left…

His head was the doorknob, long weenie dog body cut open like a dish stuck just like a fish on a meat hook but this hook was a coat hanger.

I crumbled before it and bawled and kept bawling even as the bullies showed up and laughed at me, barbed me for having a stuffed toy, for crying over it, to grow up-

I come back again to see Roman and I sitting down beside the fountain.

"Don't listen to Mr. Blaire okay, Buddy?" I say and pat his back gently. "Your new here, this is all pretty scary-" His face turns towards me and I smile softly, "I'll do my best okay, to help you!"

His amber eyes remain on my cloudy grays, we stare at one another, his face half turned my way, my full attention upon him before me.

Thoughts swirled behind those young eyes, how could they leave me, why did they leave me, are they coming back, would they come back-?

I walk out of the school, older now and wiser but still so happy to see my Mom and Dad that I smiled and waved in greeting.

I gained neither back, but they had come back!

Come back for me!

Roman…..

"Wi..ll y..ou.." He panted out, starting to sob again, "Come ba…. Back?"

I hold onto him tightly and he releases his silence and wails loudly and pounds upon my arms in muted pain, I hold him and take it all in.

I broke three expensive vases, ruined my Father's best suit, disrupted an important dinner date between my Father and would be workers!

I screamed back, I hit only twice, but raged within so hard I felt like I'd explode one day-I destroyed my bedroom but for what…

To be noticed… Noticed for how long? As longas a berating from my Father for 'acting stupid', for 'acting childish.' How I needed to 'grow up and realize life was not all about ME, ME, ME!' How I 'had all I needed already,' how I, 'needed to learn to go about things on my own!'

I'd done these things for the few harsh words of my Mother and Father, for the seconds it gave me with them, those precious few moments with them and their attention upon me-

I clutch Roman and whisper into his fluffy spiked brown hair and close my eyes tightly, rocking us slowly, "I promise, Buddy! On my life, I PROMISE!"

\---

I kept promises, unlike my parents, hell, they didn't even keep ME! My dad would leave me in crowds of people and study me from afar where I could not see and mark all I did wrong.

I'd cry, I'd call out for him, I'd panic!

These weren't 'grownup' those were, 'stupid,' and 'childish!' I was belittled for these normal children behaviors and then lead along with his dark stares turned towards me, making sure I kept up.

Roman… I saw a smile on that kids face light like a firework when I walked into work the next day!

I had kept my promise!

He could trust me!

I felt amazing!

I felt happy!

I felt...loved!

\---

The poor kid wasn't perfect, no.. When he got into a mood, he was sealed so tight once it took four WEEKS to get him out enough to even willingly eat!

Due to his ability to make fires from literally ANYTHING and or find ways to hurt himself even with an I.V drip, force feeding was hard.

His teeth even needed to be filed flat, every single one since he'd begun to bite himself in the fits he got sucked into.

Tares along his arms and legs. Burnt fingers toes, hair-

I walk into the Hospital Ward and find his arms locked into the bed, INTO not just on.

Fingers each placed in a pocket so they couldn't hurt themselves alone. A new collar graced his neck, a part of the hospital uniform, a way to hold patients...Like an animal-

He looks away as I enter and stays silent as I sit partly on his bed.

Three years had passed now.

Three birthdays.

Three long years of parents never coming back.

He'd done well for a year! I called his parents to tell them even but..they...didn't...care..

They knew the name Roman but by records…

If Roman knew he'd been sold to the Murkoff Program…

"He's perfect for the program, Rick! Juuust hitting puberty, lost his parents, fuck, might even tell'em he was sold! THAT might get something out of him!" Blaire had said the day after I rang his parents about how their son was progressing well.

I punched Jeremy in the face so fucking hard he toppled off his office chair and into his filing cabinet beside him.

"WHAT THE FUCK, JEREMY?! HE'S A KID!!"

"PPPffff, Hitler didn't care when he gassed Jews and their kids did he, no! Mental illness does not hold anything to anyone! That kid is a gold mine! His hormones will kick in and he'll fucking loose it, he'll be in the Engine in no time!"

"If you can't handle this Rick," Jeremy warned me-

I placed my hand upon Roman's head and whispered as his words echoed in the back of my mind, "I'm here, Buddy, I promise I'll always be here~" 'I WILL have someone more ABLE to take him on release you from him! That's a promise!'

\---

By eighteenth, as had I, Roman too had been fully exposed to life's evil nature.

He had gotten out a few nights before I chose to remain in the Asylum for good, to be closer to Roman, as I promised I would. He slunk around, hurt no one, just walked along.

He found the files room and snuck around.

Curiosity killed the cat…

I woke to a call from the Mount Massive officers to get my ass there pronto and within a half hour, I was in the hospital ward, waiting on news of how Roman was-

He was found by his screams-He had locked himself inside the files room and went ape shit-All that paper made fiine kindling!

He used his fucking teeth to light a match, indeed, a match he had made in Vocational, and set the room ablaze with him inside, screaming at first in pain at finding out why his parents gave no shits and even better, never returned, then pain as the fire began to eat away at his person, the whole right side of his face melting off it had gotten so hot inside the room.

I sat outside the operating room and sprang up as soon as the doors opened to hear he was alive, stable, but would never see nor hear on that side again.

All I heard as I approached him was, 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you, I love you, I love you-'

He smelt horrible, he shook as he sobbed and sobbed harder because it hurt him to do so.

"Kids new name is Pyromaniac!" Someone joked as the recovery room doors opened and closed further back and I flinched as Roman looked my way and sobbed harder, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you, I love you, I love you-"

"Ooh.. Buddy…" I whisper tightly as I reach for him and he bleats out with a hoarse voice ruined by smoke, "I'M SO SORRY MAMA, I'M SORRY!!! I WANTED TO DIE!!! I'M JUST FLESH THAT'S BEEN SOLD!!! LET ME DIE!!! PLEASE!!! I LOVE YOU, I'M SORRY!!!"

I reach for my Father as I see Mother laying in state before us and get a cold growl my way, his voice toxic and dark, "Grow the fuck up you pussy! She's fucking dead, so what, we all die, get over it!"

I hold Roman gently, like I had so many times now since I took him on as my patient and rock him gently, voice as soft as I could be, trying to be stern but caring as he broke once again within my arms, "Shhhh, shhh, breeeeathe, Buddy, shhhh! Listen… It's… Shhh.. Easy…" I lean my face down and whisper as he clutches my jacket tightly, like a life raft in the dark raging sea he now tred, "It's not your fault, Buddy! Your being sold to Murkoff wasn't because of something you did-"

I touch my Mother's face once warm and alive and sometimes kind and smiling, now cold and dead and sniffle as quietly as I could.

"Your such a good boy, Roman… Shhhh, shhh… They have no idea what they've lost when they did this…"

I clutch Buddy close to my chest and scream the silent scream of loss as she goes to the Rainbow bridge, again, my Father, uncaring, waited in the car for me to come back and finally 'get this over with.'

"I love you, Roman, shhh, I'm not mad, I'm not mad!" I pat the back of what remained of his haired head and cradle him like a mother would a child, "Mama Trager's going nowhere, Mama's ganna be here now, okay, Mama's not ganna leave!"

"I love you, Mama...I… I mean.. Sorry, Doctor Trager.." Roman had said three weeks after being dumped at Mount Massive.

I was teaching him chess, I had praised him for checking me and beamed proudly when he won, feeling a burst of pride as he smiled wide and gave me the same smile with young burning happy eyes.

"Mama?" I ask slowly and work it with my tongue-

"DON'T call me 'DADDY' that's childish, what are you, three?" My Father snapped and smacked me on the head. "Get out, your ruining my good mood!" And in 'good mood' he just sat in his chair and drank while watching the worst side of news.

I had just finished a model plane, one that with missing pieces, I MADE MY OWN and it FLEW!

I ruffle his hair with my hand and smile happily, seeing that smile return as I speak the words, "You can call me Mama Trager, Buddy~"

\---

Sad thing was, soon after telling Roman I wasn't leaving...I got in trouble… My own friend… Once my lasting life, Jeremy, filed me as 'crazy' and sent me right to the Engine…

I had left Roman..

I broke my promise!

Unknown to HIM though, Mr. Langan shot me up with what was believed to be 'Walrider DNA' which left me in this weird death looking state.. He, Mr. Langan was just a corp asshole and thought this breakthrough would get him in good with Jeremy… Once Jeremy found out however-

I was dumped within Cell Block D, the worst Variants holding cells and forgotten like I had all those years ago at boarding school.

I had no news of Roman… He had no word of me…

I hid away from everyone and cried pitifully because...I broke my promise… Mama PROMISED he'd ALWAYS BE THERE…

I watch silently as Roman sets fire again but isn't saved, just watched, studied, I watch as maybe he's cut himself too deeply this time and he bleeds out as he cries alone…

No ones bothered me since my coming to Cell Block D so when a voice speaks in a raspy way, I look up quickly and see, with one eye now, "Its okay, Mama, I'm here~"

"Don't tell your Father this, Happy Birthday~" Mother says as she handed me Buddy.

I see Roman, and he seems me, I reach for him weakly and he meets me halfway.

"Is this a nice surprise, honey!?" Mother asks me as we eat ice cream after her nail appointments.

"I NEVER LEFT YOU, I PROMISED I WOULDN'T, I'M SORRY, IT JUST HAPPENED! I COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING! IT ALL JUST HAPPENED! ROMAN I'M SO SORRY, MAMA'S SORRY-"

"Don't make this a thing, Ricky~" Mother eased as the storm outside terrified me to the point of running to her where she read in bed, Father away on business.

I clasp Roman within my arms and bawl into his neck as this time he eases ME-

I nuzzle into my Mother, smelling her warm scent, the glow of the lamp shining, my light just under my head.

He kisses my scarred bald head and rocks us gently, his scarred arms holding us close together as he whispers gently into my ear, "It's not your fault, Mama~ They lost an amazing person when they did this, but now-"

A kiss to my nose as I help Mother cook-

"We're together again, Mama and Son~ Your a great man, Mama-"

A hug so warm after I graduated, Mother's smile so big and happy!

"I love you, Mama, now we'll be together forever, okay? Together now~"

I rest his scarred face into my bare chest and nod silently, sniffling and breathing as I take a protective stance whilst holding him again close within my arms, "Mama Trager's going nowhere, Mama loves you so very much! Mama's here~"


End file.
